THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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