You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
