This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
that's an acceptable place to lick
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
we're so committed to being not committed
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
