Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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