Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I have fence marks all over my body
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize