Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
