What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
