what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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