How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
