Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
