i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Randomize
