We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
