chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
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