CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
