idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
she smelled like a LAN party
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
