i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Randomize
