Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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