I'm so fucking centered right now
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
