You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
