Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
