Apparently you make a good broom.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
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