I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
