How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize