I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
