We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
