So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
