You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
