just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Less talking, more tequila
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize