Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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