Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
