He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
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