Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
