Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
