So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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