hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
