I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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