Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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