drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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