she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
