thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
