Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You have to summon your inner elephant
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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