I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
