i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
