In the future we'll all be gay
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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