I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
