Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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