is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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