We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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