Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I would ride that face into the sunset
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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