i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
