did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
