How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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