Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
