You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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